Why Parents should not Fight in front of Kids
Why should not Parents should neverfight in front of kids
Parents often leave nostone unturnedeffort go waste in to ensureoverall development oftheir children. They undergo each fire test to see their children healthy, not only physically but mentally also. They fight with every hurdle to make their children free from any ailments. But there are situations when the parents become one of the reasons for children to suffer; they become reasonsfortheir children’s nightmare. This is the timehappenswhen parents fight with each other. This fight does nothing but leaves negative impression on the mind of children.children with negative emotions like fear, stress and insecurity.
Effect on children:
Conflict is a part of life and no parents are exception to it. Children at this age are smartand yet sensitive; they arealways closelyhearing you and watching you.
Violent conflicts between parents involving harsh criticism and abusive language can leave a deep impact on children and can be a great threat to their emotional security.In fact researches show that children who grew up in high-conflict homes are more likely to report poorer health behaviours and even resort to substance abuse. Such children are frightened, anxious and helpless. This may result in low self-esteem which can be permanent and damaging in their long term personal and professional relationships. Pressure takes a greater toll on children when parents ask them to take sides during fighting which can be distressing for them. If the fighting is heard by friends in the neighbourhood, it become another reason for them to feel ashamed of.
Children have a normal tendency of following their elders. So when they see their parents fighting, they also naturally become aggressive in nature. They tend to shout and abuse for small reasons.
They just do not ignore this entire process of the parents indulging themselves into unwanted situation but they get carried away. Although, it does not matter to him who is right or wrong. He just wants his parents not to fight over petty issues.If the conflicts take the shape of violent, harshly criticising orabusing in front of kids, this is the last thing what a parents can do to harm their emotional security. Fighting in front of the kids can threaten their overall sense of security and as adults, research shows that children who grew up in high-conflict homes are more likely to report poorer health behaviours, especially substance abuse.
Being a mere child he do not have control over fighting, he is terribly bothered by conflicts. He is frightened, anxious and helpless. This terrible feeling has however results in low self-esteem which can be permanent and damaging in his long term personal and professional relationships.
Sometime it becomes even worse, pressure takes a toll on children when parents ask them to take the sides during fighting which can be distressing for them.If the fighting is heard by nearby friend in neighbourhood this become another reason for them to feel ashamed of.
Children sometime may follow the trend and they may tend to become aggressive in nature. For every small reason they tend to shout and later on may be abuse. This is the normal tendency of children that they follow their elders.
What should parents do?
Life is full of conflict, it would be wrong to say that parents do not have conflicts. It’s unfortunate and inevitable that conflicts happen in between parents. Since all stay in the same house any other member can see and feel the repercussion of thesame.This is oneConflict between parents is anunavoidable circumstance wherethatchildren are regularly faced with.go through day in and day out. However,knowing that conflicts are bound to happen, parents should keep certain points in mind while fighting:
• Lower your toneSort out your disagreement amicably:Parents are fighting, need not to show everyone.Conflict between parents should never be a loud,abusive or a verbose display. Needless to mention it should never ever get physical or violent.You can still fight without being loud and abusive. Understand thatAnger on certain disagreement is anormal, legitimate emotion, but oneparents need to know where and how not to cross their limits.control the flow
• Explain the reason:Once you are done, it is imperative to explainto your kids about the disagreement and thatnow it has been sorted out. The children should not worry and make them feel that conflict is normal. It happens and they should not take it to the heart.
• Pause: It is a misconception that fighting behind closed doors will not affect your children. In certain case when the children are very sensitive to conflicts and you assume that by closing the door your children would not hear anything. You are wrong; In most cases they hear every word you say.Hence the parents should avoid the argument then and there. It’sa little difficult but things can easily get sorted out if one parent chooses not to participate inthe argument; you can get out of the room or go to the garden, drink water or change the topic. This pausing would calm you down and resume your conversation witha cool head.
• Lesson for kids: Kids may take conflicts positively. Theycan learn to compromise,to be compassionate, and to use humour and warmth to solve disagreements.
Children who witness parents resolving conflicts with compromise and positive emotions/attitude can experience an increased sense of security and develop better self-esteem, relationships with their parents and have fewer psychological issues. They can also do better at school and develop greater social skills.